The Psychology of Attraction: What Makes People Fall in Love?

The idea of being in love has been romanticized for ages. We have songs to represent love, and then there are movies, books, poetry, and much more. But, love is a lot more than what we can confine and describe through mere pieces of songs. Although poets describe love through poetry, its essence can only be felt when you are actually in Love.

Love science is very complex. You love a person, but what is it that drives you towards them? Is it love at first sight? Or is it love at first smell? Or, maybe the first conversation you exchanged about a band you both love? All of these leads to one ultimate common question: why people fall in love?

Let's learn love through attraction psychology and understand how romantic attraction works to improve relationship chemistry between two lovers.

The love science behind attraction

We are going to use a little science to describe the stages of love and how romantic attraction manifests itself between two individuals. Dr Helen Fisher, a renowned anthropologist, says that there are three stages of falling in love.

Lust

Attraction

Attachment

Now, how can we biologically explain these distinct stages to answer why people fall in love after all? How is relationship chemistry built on these stages? Let me explain it in a little more detail.

Stage 1: Lust

Levels of testosterone (men) and oestrogen (women) drive lust in our bodies. Almost every mammal on the planet experiences this stage.

Stage 2: Attraction

Our brain releases certain chemicals that promote euphoria. It includes dopamine, adrenaline, and norepinephrine. When your brain releases all these three chemicals together, you fall in love. Adrenaline especially is the chemical that makes your cheeks feel flushed, makes your heart race, and gives you butterflies in the stomach when you see the person you love.

Stage 3: Attachment

Oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) replaces the release of dopamine and norepinephrine in your brain. This is when you start feeling closer to your partner and experience the beginning of a genuine connection. This is also when you start planning for a long-term relationship.

While these stages are straightforward, they are not enough to explain relationship chemistry.

What is relationship chemistry?

Strong chemistry in a relationship refers to the intense feelings couples develop for each other over time. Relationship chemistry is influenced by a number of factors, including emotional and physical intimacy.

Emotional intimacy comprises bonding spiritually, understanding, aligning thoughts and goals, and respecting each other's boundaries. Do not try to invade your partner's personal space too much, it can overwhelm your partner and disrupt natural romantic chemistry. Be patient, once someone feels comfortable enough, they will let you walk in their life.

As for physical intimacy, it may include hugs, cuddles, holding hands, and more. Now again, before initiating physical intimacy, consent is important. While it is a huge part of romantic attraction, knowing if your partner is willing to be close with you is important.

Romantic chemistry is often what draws us closer to the person. Remember that attraction is not born overnight. It grows gradually as you spend more time together, share conversations over a cup of coffee, go for movie nights, and more.

The moments you spend together play a notable part in building a strong relationship chemistry and a genuine connection.

What is attraction psychology?

Have you experienced butterflies in the stomach before your first date? You know, the sweet anxious feelings that grow heavier on you, yet give you a feeling of excitement. It is followed with many questions like:

Will they call me again?

Will there be a second date?

Will they find me attractive?

Will I be their type?

Will they find my lame jokes funny?

There's so many mixed up questions, emotions, feelings, nervousness, yet an unwavering excitement of meeting someone new. Maybe its time for you to acquaint yourself with the psychology of attraction and improve your dating game.

Psychology of attraction aims to study why we are more attracted to certain people over others. Is it because we share similar goals? Will that mean we are going to be harsh to people that have different goals? Is it because of their appearance? Their smell? The way they talk? The way they hold you? The look in their eyes? Is it the way they caress you? Or did you fall in love with them when they gave you an umbrella while it was raining cats and dogs?

Quite complex if you ask.

Understanding what leads to romantic attraction in a relationship can strengthen our dating game. So, how do we try to make ourselves more attractive towards people we are attracted to?

Here are some tips by dating experts, you know, little ways to use the psychology of attraction to your advantage when dating.

It's not always looks people find attractive

Anyone that has fallen for a friend before will know what I mean. Love doesn't always have to be skin-deep. Often, it is the personality of the person that attracts you. Have you had a friend you shared your deepest secrets with and they got you like no other? Over time, when you find them saving you from potential breakdowns, you realize they are always emotionally available for you, and they make you feel comfortable. Do you know where it eventually leads? Yes, it's love.

Maintain a positive attitude

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, do you know what most people are attracted to without even realizing? positivity. Positivity is a contagious attitude. When you perceive the world in a positive light, you will find people seeking comfort from you. Believe me on this one, as I have experienced it myself. Regardless of what life throws at me, I accept it with patience and gratitude. I learn to find happiness within the darkest tunnel, rather than waiting for the darkness to end. This attitude has attracted tons of people to me. (Not trying to sound narcissistic but people love good vibes!)

Practice self-love & self-care

This is something I preach very often. Anything that is worthwhile, starts with you. Be it love, attraction, care, attention, it has to start with you. You cannot expect people to love you or care for you when you cannot provide yourself with the bare minimum. Dress up well, eat a healthy diet, stay fit, practice skin care, stay up-to-date with the latest fashion trend, and practice meditation. This may not have a lot to do with love science but it does play a huge role in promoting romantic attraction.

Wrapping Up

People fall in love for various reasons. Psychologically, romantic relationships are more than dates. It includes emotional and physical intimacy, which plays a great part in enhancing romantic relationship chemistry. Love science is a complex concept, but with an insight into the A-Z's of love and relationships, couples can improve their dating game in the modern world.

So, do not lose hope in love. Love has always been, and will always be a beautiful emotion and feeling! If you are looking for love today, do not think it's too late. Create a dating profile on Gleemeet.com, and find your match!